


Helmet

by cecilia095



Category: New Girl
Genre: F/M, Helmets, Pink Wine, Sex Dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 03:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6499261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilia095/pseuds/cecilia095
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The sex dream," she says, her voice muffled, "was about <i>you</i>."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Helmet

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone wanted me to, so...
> 
> This fic is based off of these two stills: [1.](http://41.media.tumblr.com/cb232aa372a4e428a94d67b0a49537c6/tumblr_o5aa0uwtnW1qkoenyo7_1280.jpg) [2.](http://40.media.tumblr.com/2a1c4ccd5da6491254365c3e30c4b0a0/tumblr_o5aa0uwtnW1qkoenyo10_1280.jpg)
> 
> Spoilers for 5x16, "Helmet".
> 
> \--
> 
> As badly as I want the two of them to bone after Jess's wild, crazy, Nick-related sex dream, I also want things between these two to happen organically, AKA no Jess-cheating-on-Sam, no Jess-and-Nick-ending-up-with-each-other-as-a-last-resort-because-there's-no-more-story-to-tell, etc. etc. So for everyone who wanted me to write about _that_ , I'm sorry in advance, but I hope you still enjoy this anyway. :)

"You know what your problem is, Jess?"  
  
"Aside from the fact that I have a Chicago Cubs helmet stuck on my head..."  
  
"Aside from that," he says, and he rolls his eyes at the fact that it's been three hours and not even a screwdriver and a hammer did the trick. "You can't deal with the fact of people not liking you. You just can't."  
  
"You don't like me very much right now, and I'm dealing with that _just fine_ ," she says, almost in a sing-song way. She hasn't sang at Nick about The Helmet Thing all morning because he actually might've killed her, but she wanted to sing about it, she totally did. (He's already annoyed about Jess taking his "precious, precious Chicago Cubs gear", so she didn't want to risk it.)  
  
"Sam only took you back because you squeezed your way back into his life and he would've felt like a dick saying no to you after the... Let's see: How many trays of brownies did you bring him again?"  
  
Jess doesn't say it out loud, but she holds up four fingers, and then after a second she goes, "What about having me run headfirst into the iron door? Would that work?"  
  
Nick sets down the screwdriver and sighs, shoving both of his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Don't try it, Jessica. Hey, here's a funny question: Why the hell are ya' wearing my Chicago Cubs helmet around the house anyway?"  
  
"Um." The real reason? It involves a sex dream, too much pink wine, Cece telling her to "Just leave it alone, Jess.", Jess not being able to "Just leave it alone, Jess".  
  
"I got... cold," she lies, taking a hand up to the top of her head and clanking it against the helmet's surface.  
  
"You got _cold_ ," Nick repeats, his eyes narrow on Jess's.  
  
"From my... sex... dream," she mumbles.  
  
"From your... Wait. Your. Your what?"  
  
"You're no help, Miller!", she yells, standing up from the barstool in the kitchen, making a run for it into her bedroom.  
  
Before Nick can follow her, Cece walks over to the fridge and goes, "Oh crap, she didn't leave it alone, did she?"  
  
"I don't know, does "leaving it alone" mean "Put on Nick's helmet and run around the loft like a fool"?"  
  
"Not... really...?", Cece says, shrugging. "Should I go talk to her?"  
  
Nick levels a hand at Cece. "Let me."  
  
Before he can follow Jess into her bedroom, there's a knock at the door.  
  
"Um. I'll get it!", Cece insists, waving Nick away. "Coming!"

—

Nick twists Jess's doorknob and tries not to laugh at the very dangerous way she's banging her head against her bookshelf.

"Jess, stop, c'mon," he says, closing her bedroom door behind him. "Hey, would me telling you that your boyfriend is in our living room calm you down?"

"My -- In our --  _Sam_?"

"I mean, how many boyfriends do you have, Day?"

She pretends to count her fingers, but then she gets pissed off because there's a helmet stuck on her head and she was actually having a good hair day, damnit.

"You had a sex dream about Sam and put my helmet on and now you're hiding in your room to avoid him even though you're sleeping with him on the daily? Call me stupid, but I'm lost. Just tell him about the damn dream, Jess! It's nothin' to be embarrassed about."

"The sex dream," she says, her voice muffled, "was about  _you_."

—

"She's just getting changed," Cece excuses, and then she offers Sam something to drink, or, "Have you seen any cool TV shows recently? Talk about one in depth!"

Sam shakes his head. "Are you sure I shouldn't go in there? What's she even doing?"

Cece hears a lot of... thumping? Clanking? Did someone just scream, and  _please_ , for the love of God, let it be Winston or his cat making all of that noise. (It's not Winston or his cat because Winston and his cat are currently with Cece's future husband at some Pet Talent Agency and basically no one in this loft is normal.)

"She's just  _so_ indecisive when it comes to picking out tights, you know?", says Cece, and Sam fakes a laugh and goes, "I actually... don't."

Cece swallows thickly and holds up a finger to Sam, excusing herself from the living room. "I'll just be two seconds," she tells him, and then she races into Jess's room.

—

"Whoa, okay, should I leave?"

"CECE, NO, STAY!"

"THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, CECE!"

"It looks like Jess is straddling you on her bedroom floor while you aggressively tug at her head, but please, correct me if I'm wrong!"

"Jess  _is_ straddling me, and we  _are_ on her bedroom floor, and I  _am_ tugging at her head, but not in a sexual way! Not in a sexual way!", Nick yells, waving his arms at Cece frantically. "Jess, do you want to tell your best friend why we're in this very misleading position right now?"

"She knows," Jess admits, climbing out of Nick's lap slowly. "Well, she doesn't know why I put on the helmet."

"Am I going to find out, or are we just going to pretend Sam is not out in our living room right now asking me why you take so long to put on tights?!", Cece shouts.

Jess clears her throat and stands up. "After I had that disgusting, raunchy,  _stupid_  sex dr --"

"Hey, those are three words that actually make it sound pretty awesome," Nick interrupts.

Jess glares at him and then continues. "Fine. It was stupidly  _hot_ , and I needed to not be attracted to  _this one_ ," she says, wrinkling her nose in disgust at Nick. "I found his Chicago Cubs helmet in the back of his closet and I put it on so I wouldn't be tempted to do anything as stupid as that dream was."

"Like kiss me," Nick says smugly, clearly loving this.

"Like _kiss him_?", Cece whispers, looking to Jess with wide eyes. "Jess, I thought we talked about you  _not_ wanting to do that; it was just a dream; you're dating  _Sam_."

"I knowww, Ceec, can we not do this now?", Jess begs.

"I think it's a little too late for that, honey. Just go out there and tell Sam you were playing around in Nick's closet. He doesn't have to know why you're wearing the helmet."

Jess gulps and pockets her hands in her jeans. "I can't lie to him. I'm just... Should we try the screwdriver thing again?"

Nick contemplates it for a second, but Cece goes, "Screwdriver?! No!", and then Jess and Nick both back down.

"Hey, is she ready yet? Jess? You okay, baby?", Sam shouts from the living room.

Jess starts to freak out, and Cece calms her down by telling her she'll race out and distract him with she and Schmidt's extensively planned seating chart that's on the coffee table. "It'll bore him so much he'll just leave. Watch."

"Don't do that, Ce -- Okay, and she's gone. She'll distract him. Phew. Nick, I'm sorry I stole your helmet and had a weird sex dream about you, but can you  _please_ get this thing off of my head?"

Nick's still sitting on the floor, and he's laughing right at her, and she wants to punch him in the stupid, smug, stupid face. (Also, she's thinking about that stupid, smug, stupid face and how  _not_ stupid,  _not_ smug it looked in her sex dream. They were on a boat in positions Jess didn't even know  _existed_ , and his face was great.)

"So... about this boat. Did I look like, happy? I mean, I love being at sea."

"Did you look -- Nick! Ugh. Shut up!", she shouts. She starts to dance in circles around him, inserting both of her hands into the bottom of the helmet and yanking at it harder than Nick yanked at it before. "I learned my lesson, God! 'Don't steal Nick Miller's weird helmets after you have a disgustingly hot sex dream about him'. Got it, thanks!"

"' _Disgustingl_ y _hot_ ', huh?" There goes that smirk again.

"Yeah, it was disgustingly hot,  _so_?"

Nick blushes and laughs, and then he walks up to Jess and pulls her arms off of the helmet. "I didn't mean to be a dick before," he says, but Jess has no idea what he's talking about, because, " _You're always a dick, Miller_ ". "About the Sam thing?"

"Oh. Yeah. Hey! I didn't squeeze my way back into his life, Nick. He wanted this to happen. We were  _great_ together."

"Before you and I kissed? Sure! After? Not so much." He ignores the way Jess is looking at him and slides his own two hands underneath the helmet, forcibly pulling it and pulling it, but it won't budge.

"What happened after you and I kissed?", she asks naively, as if she doesn't know how everything went down from the time of that Indian marriage convention to the day of Cece's first wedding.

"You guys weren't so 'great together'," he says bluntly, and Jess rolls her eyes. "Look, I know it's not what you want to hear Jess, but c'mon, it's the truth! You and I fell in love and Sam was just some guy who stormed out of an Indian marriage convention and you know it."

He manages to (finally!) yank the helmet off of her head, and all she says is, "Ow!", and then, "I know, Nick."

"I just don't know why you're always trying to fix things, Jess. Leave it alone! Like today, you should've just... You should've just had that sex dream about me quietly, you shouldn't have taken my helmet, and you shouldn't be hiding out in your bedroom with your ex-boyfriend while your current boyfriend is on our couch."

"Why -- Why should I have been quiet about my sex dream, Nick?", she asks, and she's genuinely curious, batting her lashes, her arms folded underneath her chest.

"Because I'm  _not_ dating Sam -- or um, you know, anyone. Because now I'm thinking about me and you and that damn boat, and it's  _hot_ , Jess! Okay? I know that's not what you want to hear, but damn, I'm thinking about it!"

"Nick. I can't," she says, because she's being realistic and thankful and  _realistic_.

"I know, Jess," he says back, rubbing his chin. "Hey. Try not to get your huge head stuck in my helmet anymore, huh, kid?"

She salutes him jokingly and grabs onto her doorknob, pulling the door open. "I'll try."


End file.
